i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
