please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
