I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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