Christians are straight up FREAKS
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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