"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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