he puts the penis in happiness.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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