Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
This toilet bowl is my home.
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