Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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