Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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