I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
