You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
