Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
