people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
