is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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