well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
