Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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