The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize