ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You smell like stripper and shame
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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