I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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