Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
