i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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