ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
