I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
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I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
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okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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