why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
