It's Friday. Sex?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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