Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
