One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize