Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
