There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
