Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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