some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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