So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
