No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
