I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
