Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
This baby is an asshole
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
