we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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