I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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