bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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