she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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