Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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