i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
