I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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