From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
we should paint friendship bongs
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