when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
