I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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