I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just want to make out with him forever
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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