people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
People in love make me want to vomit
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize