quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
