I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
