i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
