I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
