Have you finally orgasmed yet?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
nutella sex= disaster
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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