Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
