I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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