someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Randomize