Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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