ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The best revenge is premature balding
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
