Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
