i permit you to call me
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
