i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
