you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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