so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
