once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
