butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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