So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The Olympian is in my bed
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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