it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
