Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize