I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
