You're so nebulous sometimes
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We have so much sex to catch up on
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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