oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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