I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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